I go out for the day looking fabulous and see no one I know…five minutes at the grocery store and it’s a class reunion!
Remember when you could lay in one position for hours? Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts!
Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It’s a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.
2025: School will be closed due to high winds; 1983: Tornado on the ground! Get in the hall and put a book over your head
The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.
Wash and Vacuum Senior Citizens $15.95
I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut gift wrap and now the cops are here.
Son: Daddy, do trees poop? Me: Of course. That’s how we get number 2 pencils.
A successful marriage is when you take turns driving. He drives everywhere and I drive him crazy.
One cup of coffee is mental exercise, three cups is cardio.
