Warning to new teachers: The last two weeks of school will be the longest year of your life.
Q: Why did the toucan stop using his phone? A: He got a large bill.
Over the span of 11 years, 115 people died in weight lifting accidents. In the same 11 years, only one person died eating donuts. Make good choices!!
Only a matter of time before my electric bill asks me to select a tip amount.
I am proud to announce that I completed the first item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.
At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to lose 15 pounds. Only 20 more to go!
My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in and snacks come out.
Guest: You actually let your dog on the sofa?Me: I’d let my dog borrow the car if he needed it!
In order to follow privacy requirements we can’t call out patients’ names. Will the lady with Hemorrhoids please come in.
I’ve started to do Cross-Fit…I cross my fingers and hope my pants fit.
