Survival Tip: If you get lost in the woods, start talking about politics and someone will show up to argue with you!
“Hope is the power that gives a person the confidence to step out and try.” – Zig Zigler
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water. www.pun.me
“Helping one person might not change the world, but it could change the world for one person.”
I went to the psychiatrist today. She told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave her $80 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.
Patriot Day – We will never forget – 9/11
“You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.” Marisa Mayer
By replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack, you can lose up to 90% of the little joy you still have left!
Happy Labor Day
